Do I really want something or not?

I am 28 yrs old. But I seriously cant say whether I really want to do something or I am pretending to like to want to do something...or I really dont want to do something and am doing it becuase everyone else is doing it...

You could say that in in the depth of my heart I already know what I really want....and I would say, dont try to be smart...becuase I know that...my confusion is that am I such a big con artist that I can con the depth of my heart to tell me what I fakely want is actually what I want...

I pray kapil comes home soon....otherwise my eyes will be in the back of my head will all this thinking :-)....anyway..just putting it out there