Its been a long time since I really blogged. The "been there done that" or read that or wrote that ( to some one if not in my blog ) attitude settles in and then I dont feel like writing anymore.

Today I have resolved to post a blog. Come what may. However lame the write up is. Those who know me know that I am a VERY VERY lazy girl and my attention span is as little as 1 millionth of a second if I am not entertained in someway or other...

Already bored...( Random thought ...Whatever happened to Randy Pausch's initiatives...Need to check up on that ... )

Back...Well I think the most important thing for me right now seems to be ( I know! the cliche laden - " Why am I in this earth? " What is it that I am suppossed to be doing. My husband, bless that simple-wise-uncomplicated soul, says to do exactly what you are doing - To wonder and then go about doing exactly the same things you are doing. My mom says I need to have a baby and wont have time to think about these things...My sis says I am wondering the exact same thing ( may be its genetic! )..And some of my friends say...hee hee...who am I kidding I dont have any friends at the moment whom I would dare and open my soul to like this and have a REAL converstation with. (Its depressing, yes! but thats me :-) )Once bitten twise shy...well in my case thrice bitten and thats the end of it!

Well back to the point...if there is one...I always wonder abt the Why-What when I am happy as well as sad and when veti or busy...( at this point I do realise that I have read and wrote quite a few existential dilemma write-up and its not new...) but todays is renewed becuase of another important thing LOVE...

Oh crap...forget it...I cant write..mainly becuase I dont think one unique original thought...I am a duplicate of someone somewhere...Oh! this is so cruel...I am starting to feel something...but I know my self-preservation mode will kick in and make me block and forget all that I am thinking and feeling and take me back to a stable feeling less state...from where I will wonder about people who are LIVING IT!...and chaste myself saying dont be greedy people in Iraq dont have water to drink or people in Indian villages dont get to go to Paris and sit and read a funny P.G Wodehouse. Then I will think in the lines of I am not such a waste...I am a wife, daughter and a sister...These people will be profoundly affected if I dont exists...(might be a real positive for my husband, but definetely a negative for my parents and sis) and then I should make it my life's mission to make them happy and for a brief second all seems to fall into place and I am happy and all clarified only to feel "Oh! not that monkish crap again! " and the cycle starts all over again...Only thing is certain in the cycle is I stop after some iteration tired of thinking ( due to lack of excercising it ! ) Hmmmm one more thing I dont excercise...and watch TV probably an nth repeat of Scrubs or Friends...

Well this is absolute shit!...People please tell me...or rather dont tell me if you life is better than this..!

Anyway remember my resolution earlier I will post any crap come what may...so here it goes!...I am sure if any organization is looking to find people who might self-immolate themself soon come across this blog they wont hesitate a second to contact me for therapy :-) :-) :-)